back to WI

We got back from California today! Amazingly enough, with 4 carry-on bags and a very active 4 year old, the flights were about as easy as could be expected. Still, I'm very tired, but sort of in that mode of too-tired-to-do-what's-good-for-me-and-go-to-bed. Did want to order Christmas cards tonight to get multiple discounts, though, which I downloaded as a separate post for everyone to see and also to get the shameless $10 coupon bribe. I did get Elias to bed on time even with the time change--a good thing, because we have an 8am appointment with a behavior therapist tomorrow morning! Ugh.

It's been more than 2 decades since I spent a Thanksgiving with my family back in CA. Some of the same treasured traditions are still active, like cutting the Christmas tree in the national forest on "black Friday" (definitely NOT a day for shopping in our family). I hope to have some more pictures up soon.

Stationery card

Christ Wishes Religious Christmas Card

Create personalized Christmas card designs at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

anatomy of a tantrum

It seems like a lot has happened over the last month, but I've been too tuckered out to blog about it, opting instead for earlier bedtimes.

Elias's great love has, sadly, switched from books to video. He especially likes surfing around the kids programs on Netflix or video clips at sesamestreet.org. Screentime is normally reserved as a special treat for Saturdays and an occasional weeknight, and in the mornings when getting ready to go. After school today we were doing well in the real world, looking for marshmallow sticks for his school trip tomorrow, visiting with the chickens, then making a pizza. Then he caught sight of my laptop, on, in the office and rushed over to load videos. I told him no, not until after dinner, when I'd watch something with him, which he glumly accepted and walked out. I went to take the trash out. When I returned, there he was at the computer, with Sesame Street loaded, looking very guilty. I reminded him I told him he couldn't play on the computer until after dinner (ignoring his hasty but heart-felt excuse that had something to do with Cookie Monster), and because he disobeyed, now he couldn't play on the computer at all tonight. It's not the first time this senario has played out, but tonight, Oh, the drama! He burst out crying, bawling, lamenting, hanging onto me...which went on for over an hour. I think that's a record. He'd get himself just under control, then after several seconds remember the "harsh"sentence visited upon him and start up all over again. When we sat down for dinner and I prayed, he tacked on, bitterly, "and THANK YOU for the computer and THANK YOU that Mom said I can't play on the computer tonight and is making me very, VERY upset! Amen." Then he told me "yes, I'm telling God on you." He abandoned that route when I reminded him that God wants us to obey our parents, and reverted to the cycle of bawling, catching his breath, asking again if he can play on the computer (with variations of wording, or proffered limitations to particular programs, or provisions, or justifications), objecting to the same, un-nuansed "no" answer, and then more sobbing. I probably could have stopped it by getting him to do something else, or refusing to let him "tantrum" in the kitchen where I was, or even ordering him to stop, but I wondered how he'd get over it himself. I was fascinated at how all-encompassing and deep-felt his disappointment was, far in excess of the happiness afforded a little computer time, and how much effort he expended in sustaining his anger. In the talking parts of the cycle, I was impressed how eloquently he voiced his assessment, objections, and attempted negotiations of the matter. I was pleased he never tried to ignore my ruling by sneaking off to play on the computer, nor did he act out his frustration; rather, he clung to me seeking comfort in his distress. So we cuddled and talked until he wore himself out. Meekly, still weeping, he got ready for bed, then fell deeply asleep on me after just one book. It was all said and done by 7:50. I bet tomorrow it'll be as if nothing happened, except (hopefully) a lesson learned.

Elias' tantrum was just so ridiculously overblown and unreasonable, at times I fought back a smile, but then it got me thinking: do I do the same thing? I'm upset and stressed about not being fairly paid at work, but I got myself into this situation, and it's clear that my reasoning, begging, and emotional stress aren't going to change their decision one whit--so what am I whining about? Why do I keep presenting ever-more-eloquent reasoning to a brick wall? I need to chill out, accept it, and move on a little bit wiser. Like Elias.

WI Saturday

What a great WI day. It was gorgeous, end-of-summer weather today: ~80F, sunny, with all sorts of interesting clouds. I awoke to Elias climbing into bed with me with a couple of his books "that's OK, Mommy, you sleep." I made him a snack of strawberries and scrambled egg, put on a video, then went back to bed. I did snooze a bit, I think. I realized a different DVD was playing--he'd figured out how to start up a new one, without the remote. Well, it was bound to happen sometime.

I had tentative plans to take him to farmers' market on the Capitol Square, but he didn't want to and the prospect of dragging a 4 year old through crowds wasn't appealing to me, either. So we went to Menard's, where I returned one thing, then bought one item I needed and about a dozen other things. We met one of Elias' old daycare buddies (they asked, then hugged one another--uber cute), then one of my old co-workers (we didn't hug, but it was nice chatting). Then, chore done, we set off for some Babcock ice cream at the student union. Unfortunately, amazingly, they don't sell ice cream until after noon (but you could get beer, I believe!), so we had lunch an

d hung out on the Terrace. VERY Wisconsin. Elias really wanted to go swimming in the lake, but my excuse was that his swim suit was at home--so suddenly he wanted to go home. After the long-awaited ice cream cones, and some admiring of/climbing on the old buildings, we did.

It was a bit of a struggle to get Elias to nap, again, but finally he fell asleep. This let me rest a bit, then get tons done, cleaning the kitchen, mowing the back lawn, and doing quite a bit with the landscaping out front. After 5pm I finally went in and woke him from his sound sleep. I gave him the choice of setting up a tent and camping in the backyard, or going to the lake to swim (his bribe if he slept at naptime). Swim, definitely. We had a quick dinner and were off to nearby Governor Nelson state park. It was so lovely, and at just past 6pm, mostly empty. We had a wonderful, fun time swiming and splashing in the lake, with a great view of the city across the lake on one side, and a beautiful sunset on the other. After an hour we were tuckered out and happily went home.

Days like this make me very thankful to live in Wisconsin. It's such a great place to live. It makes me sad thinking we may have to move for me to find another decent job.

a late, good night

Last night's stalling tactic worked.  Although, it wasn't actually a tactic, but it had the same result:  extended bedtime. 

For maybe a year now, Elias fights falling asleep, and over the last couple months that's incompassed naptime, too.  I'm a firm believer of the importance of sleep on biological grounds, especially for little kids.  He knows he needs it too:  most of the time that he refuses to sleep, he'll keep himself awake by repeating "I'm sooooo tired!" over and over, and when he finally does, it's for the long haul (generally 3 hr naps on weekends!)  His stalling tactics are predictable:  he needs to read another book; have more milk; go potty again; sleep with that favorite toy (lost--but he can go find it!); tuck me in; call Nanna and Pappa; get more food because suddenly he's sooo hungry...and on and on.  It's been a struggle to get him to sleep by 9pm, but lately I've been shooting for 8:15--and, actually, it's been easier because he comes home from his new school just flat-out exhausted (partially because he won't nap there).

I digress.  He was going to bed really easily last night, so I was multitasking during the long buildup (changing into PJs, brushing teeth, etc.)  When I popped back in to crack the whip--so I thought--there was Elias, already in bed with his giant preschool workbook (which I haven't been able to get him to do), calmly, steadily working his way through tracing out all the letters of the alphabet!  I was tickled pink.  Although he's been writing his name since last fall, he's since taken a strong dislike to writing or coloring.  I've tried various ways to coach him, but he'll have none of it.  Since he's so keen on reading and math I don't push it.  But here he was, doing it on his own, and doing an amazingly good job at it, also.  He got excited that I was so pleased, and insisted on tracing out each letter 4 times (like the workbook says), all the way to Z.  I honestly gushed over his efforts, and he ate it up, even coaching me how he best liked me to respond ("say 'yeah!' Mommy!" or "clap now, Mommy!")  Consequently, he didn't get to sleep until about 9, again.  I thought that this well worth staying up for.

I credit his new school for this, too, at least in part.  The last place seemed to be squelching his natural zest for "academic" subjects and was usually presenting things 8-12 months behind where he was.  I had noticed he wasn't as enthusiastic at learning anymore, falling back from his crazy-sponge-has-anyone-ever-seen-a-kid-so-smart era to something that seemed more, well, "normal" for kids his age.  Confident at his still strong independent progress, my hopes for his present schooling were centered entirely on help with social skills.  What a grand bonus that Lighthouse Christian appears to be helping him with "school" stuff, too!  Whether it's their cirriculum, simply the positive environment, or both, I'd better gear up again to be pulled along by his re-emerging genius.

this weekend

Blogging up a storm tonight, aren't I?

Yesterday was "Strides for Africa," a charity walk.  Last year's walk funded a water well in Ethiopia, and this one is to do the same, through an outstanding charity.  (Check them out:  http://www.aglimmerofhope.org/)   Elias and I came in dead last in the 5k walk last year, and upheld our winning streak by coming in a distant last place in the 1k walk.  This photo pretty much sums up Elias's opinion of long walks:

Like the difficult Friday the day before, it was a difficult morning, with him constantly demanding to go home and refusing to walk.  Finally we had a long time out where I explained that sometimes we got to do what Mommy wants, even if it's not what Elias wants, and he's got to learn to share and take turns.  That made him calm and resigned, at least, so we went on to check out AfricaFest.  A big strawberry ice cream mad it a little more bearable, and then, being able to play in a real police car and see police horses finally made it worthwhile for him.  The rest of the day was much better.  With some prompting he even made a flyswitch craft at the kids tent.

 I got him to bed before 8pm and started canning my first batch of tomatoes this season. Then the steam made the fire alarm right outside his bedroom start blaring, and it went on for about a minute before I ripped the whole thing off the ceiling, but he didn't wake up!  That's pretty amazing.  Scary, too.  There's no way *I* could sleep through that, though.

Today, Sunday, he had a good day at church.   I had quite a struggle getting him to nap, but it finally happened.  He fights it so much, but then sleeps so long and deeply!  I had to wake him to go to the play gym with families from our church adoption group.  Upon arriving, he stubbornly refused to join the others to play, or even take off his shoes, even when I did.  After about 10 minute I took his shoes off despite protests, and dragged him in...at which point he had a blast.  He bounce, tumbled, climbed, and ran himself silly the whole time.  His stubborness took on a constructive quality when he decided he was going to learn how to do a running sumersault down an incline:  he practiced again and again, spending about a third of his time there, carefully heeding my few instructions and with alternating looks of determination then elation as he approached and completed each run.  Afterwards they had cupcakes and took a great group photo.

2 weeks after "What a Week"

I unloaded a few big issues on a blog a couple weeks back that need a follow-up.  First, the new pump for my well is working just fine, although the changeover managed to clog my clothes washer cold water inlet, and the $2000 bill is still outstanding.  Second, my big audits at work are now behind me, and we (I) passed with flying colors!  Whew and yea.  (And, incidentally, I just heard from the IRS that they're accepting my original filing after auditing me for adoption expenses 3 years ago!)  Thirdly, I still have a job, although my company is still out of money.  We're waiting to hear back from a VC firm who's evaluating us (I've been referring to our point of contact as Obi-Wan), and the general consensus is that if they don't decide to take controlling interest in a couple weeks, AovaTech will cease to exist.  I sure hope to get a September paycheck.  I've been rather sad at the prospect of moving (even assuming I would be offered this other job with the consulting firm near Louisville), but mostly have been blocking it out from my thinking.

The big stressor of that week, though, was Elias' daycare situation.  I decided to go with Lighthouse Christian School and am SO happy with them!  The first day I was so worried and set up shop outside the school, working on my laptop in case they needed me.  After 10 min of shyness, though, Elias set out to impress his new teacher by writing his name on the chalkboard and spelling words for her.  When the class all left to go to the park, Elias just said "bye, Mom" and marched off with them!  Sitting there watching him go I had such a sense of peace and thankfulness that God is obviously watching over us.  I ended up packing up and going in to work, confident he was in good hands.  That night, unbidden, he prayed for his new teacher.  That whole week I heard amazing, good reports.  He even brought home an art project the second day--and it's been many months since he's done that.  He'd at times threatened to be obstinate or negative or throw things or talk rudely, but the two teachers there are incredibly skilled and said they diverted him back on track very easily.  I saw an immediate change at home, too:  we're both so much more relaxed and happy. He's more willing to talk about his day now, and when he does it's about the great things that happened, not a recital of the things he did wrong.  Praise God! Not to say that everything's perfect--on Friday he adamantly refused to walk to the bus stop to go to the water park, although beforehand was excited about the prospect.  (It took about 15 minutes to get him out of the parking lot, after which I left and spied on them from the car.)  Yet, it's a dramatic improvement.  With my work situation, it's an added blessing that this new, wonderful, Christian school is only about 1/2 the cost of his previous daycare.  Thank you all who've been praying for this situation; they've indeed been answered in abundance.

more birthday tidbits

It's been a week now since Elias' birthday BBQ, and I'm finally getting to posting a bit about it.,

I think it went really well:  lots of people came and they seemed to be enjoying themselves.  Some of the kids were shocked that we had cake and ice cream BEFORE dinner.  Elias liked it too, but usually played along the fringes with one or two other kids, which was just fine.  I was very proud seeing him at one point get very mad at another little boy for stealing his train, and instead of throwing a fit or fighting for it, he just got up and stomped away, muttering, stewed a couple seconds, then went right back to the train table and started calmly and happily playing alongside the same boy again.  Way to go on the coping skills, Dude!

The hit of the party were the chickens.  Trying to find something they'd eat was a challenge many took on, but when they became outnumbered my 4 hens prudently retreated to the cover of the pine trees.  They'd eat corn offered them, but were generally careful to keep an escape route open just in case.

After most people left, Elias and two of his friends played in the sprinklers while their mom and I got to relax and talk a bit.  At one point she went to get something from their car, and Elias asked "Where's Mom going?"  to which I said "I'm right here, Elias!" and he said "No, I mean the other mom."  Then he and one of the brothers--the corn buddies--finished off all the many remaining ears of corn.

Elias said something quite striking at the very end of the day.  When everyone was gone and we were coming in from putting away the chickens, he said "I had fun with my new friend J today.  J and I are the same color."  "What'd you say?" I said.  "J and I are the same color."  Oh.  Well, yes (he's from Ethiopia also), but I hadn't thought it mattered to Elias.  Well maybe it doesn't matter in any big sense, but in his eyes it is noteworthy.  Hmm.  Actually I thought he was having more fun playing with J's brother, who is white and nearer his age, but at that point I guess he was recalling his kinship with J more strongly.  It's another reason I'm thankful we're in Madison; opportunities to interact with kids that look like him (and those that reflect the whole spectrum of mankind) are much more plentiful here than in most places in the country.  It's a good thing.

joke

Elias has been telling his favorite joke lately.  He actually came up with it many months ago but it's recently found new life.  Here it is:

Thomas and Toby brought HOT as a present!   (Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!)

Get it?

Elias quotes his books nearly continuously (it makes up a good portion of everyday conversation).  When he first encountered the sentence "Thomas and Toby brought coal as a present" (which makes sense if you know that these guys are steam trains), he misunderstood "coal" as "cold" and was confused.  When I explained it was COAL not "cold," he immediately insisted it was "cold," which doesn't make sense, and is therefore hilarious.  Now, extending the wordplay, he often replaces "cold" with "hot" which is even more obscure, and even more funny.  Apparently punsterism strikes early. 

Birthday rundown

Elias is FOUR years old!  That's:

We had his big party on Sunday, but today is his actual birthday.  Today Elias brought his very first bagged lunch to school.  After dinner he took his new stomprocket (he opened a few presents early!) outside along with his ice cream cone, asking Mom to hold it between launches.  Then he invited me to peek into the neighboring cornfield, then led me on quite the trek through it.  Neat stuff. 

I tried to get him excited to finally open his big pile of presents.  He very happily opened his first pick:  a tag reader from my parents.  He's pretty happy with anything Leapfrog, but it takes lots of set-up time to work, so he picked out another and slowwwly opened it:  a puzzle.  He loved it so insisted on dropping everything and doing it right away.  Next up:  letter magnets.  Again he had to try them out, then spell several words on the refrigerator.  By then it was getting pretty late, so we had a fancy cupcake and more ice cream.  He was so tired he went to his bedroom and lay down and "read" himself a Thomas book.  Then he switched to a poetry book.  (He loves poetry--pretty neat, eh?) After letting me finish reading it I told him I love him, and God loves him, and Nanna & Pappa love him, and...(you get the idea) he gently fell asleep.

I guess all those other presents are going to have to wait until tomorrow!

State Fair

In contrast to my last post, this is a snippet of our day at the Wisconsin State Fair.  I think this was Elias' longest roadtrip, and he did just great, even though most the time it was obvious that I like fairs more than he does.

what a week

What a horrible week.  Last week, that is.  I was too tired to blog about it when it was happening.

Mainly, I discovered Elias has been having a horrible time at daycare.  I feel guilty and very angry at myself for not waking up and getting him out of there months ago.  In spring we went through a rough time, compounded by me being severely sick for over 2 weeks.  However, I thought that was over.  He was certainly showing steadily better behavior at home, and I thought the hard stuff at school (not being able to sit still, running and yelling, not listening, pushing teachers, rarely participating in group projects) was also extinguishing.  I was getting more glowing reports than the dreaded "Elias has a rough day." Then 3 weeks ago the Teacher A asked if something had happened at home, since once again his behavior was bad...but maybe it was just because she and his other regular teachers were on vacation the week before.  Well, that continued for another week, and worsened.  We had a conference to discuss other tactics, and I took it very seriously and scheduled appointments with his physician, a behaviorist, and a psychiatrist, as well as take a much closer look at how he behaves in all non-daycare situations.  I realize now that at that point they had given up on Elias.  They didn't listen to me at all (they, after all, are professionals.  I am just an old, misfit, single mother of one.) and I found out they'd never even tried any of my simple hints, or those of the school therapist who came in the spring.  In fact, they stumbled upon something that inflamed his behavior, and hammered on that harder and harder, just setting him up for failure.  Many were "no-win" situations for him.  Teacher A was openly hostile to me and gave odd, inconsistent reports.  Yet I had gone on believing I was partnering with them (the experts) to make it better.  I was called to pick him up after 1.5 hr on Tuesday because they couldn't handle him.  He was a model kid before school, and then all during the long boring day at my office (because I had a critical project and nowhere else to take him).  I feel foolish for the trust and belief I put in them, and guilty that I failed to protect him as I should have.  I feel there's a lot of damage to undo, mostly in his self-perception as a "bad boy" that I heard espoused directly by his peers and via euphemism by his teachers and the director.  Also, too, that he has now learned that he can be rude and defiant and even physical with adults and totally get away with it. Ugh.  I'm so sorry, Elias!  We can still undo this, but it's not going to be easy or pretty. 

So, that was Major Stress Item #1, about a year's worth, actually.  Ah, but other practicalities butt in, too.  First off, I had to find another daycare ASAP--not easy when the good ones usually have waiting lists and just before the school year starts.  Then, I'm in the middle of our 2 giant Quality Systems audits at work which I'm responsible for and for which my coworkers are lending virtually no support, and occasional griping.  I gave up my 8-month quest to address some of my long-standing health issues.  A nice little add-on is terribly hot and muggy weather and nasty annoying allergies, which have struck me this year for the first time.  My company is basically out of money and this time there's no savior in sight, and Friday my worst thoughts on that were confirmed by another coworker.  Also that day I heard back that the company I turned down in January is no longer in a position to hire, leaving my only other job prospect one that is out-of-state...and I need to get back to them to ensure it remains a viable option.  How I dread moving with Elias.  Then, on Saturday morning when the week's end was in sight, we awoke to discover we had no water:  our house well had died.

Have I painted a bleak enough picture?

Well, the amazing thing is, with all this going on, it was also a wonderful week!  Yes, really!  God is good!  Despite the terrible anxiety and guilt regarding his daycare difficulties, I have a clear path forward and am finally doing something to address the problem.  It was a tremendous relief to discover, after researching and visiting 3 other centers, that there are lots of good schooling options (whereas I'd come to the opposite conclusion 3 years ago when starting with this place.)  All 3 of my top picks surprisingly each has 1-2 slots still open for 4yr olds. My finances will be in serious trouble when/if I loose my job this month, but I took precautions against this in early spring.  God will provide for us, as He always has, even when the means by which it would be done remain a mystery to me.  Mostly, though, it was a wonderful week because of all the time I spent with my son.  He is utterly delightful, and I have a new found clarity and appreciation of that.  All week he's been tripping all over himself to be helpful, engaging and polite.  Plus, he's still his own fearless, hyper, thoughtful self, which is wonderful to behold.  I am so thankful he did not become a docile daycare drone.  He's also rekindled his passion for reading which had been flagging, constantly spelling out signs he sees and asking me what they say.  There were just 3 or 4 incidences where the behavior reported from school tried to bleed into home life, but these were immediately nipped in the bud, so instead of spiraling downward, he just clicked back into "good" mode right away.  That's been very reassuring as a parent.  Also reassuring is concluding that most of his troubles are just in the context of that school.  He's been more talkative and cheery this week.  He just eats up praise, which is good to see, but also saddens me that he's been getting so much of the opposite message.  We dropped everything and took a vacation day at beautiful Devil's Lake on Thursday to just play.  I think that was the first time I actually outlasted his energy level, when he fell asleep in the car even before we left the park.  We now have a new pump in the well so are enjoying running water at home again.  Rather than dread moving away, all the blooming flowers and the booming garden make it easy to really appreciate where we're living right now.

This has violated all my blog rules of thumb:  keep it short, narrowly focused, and positive, and add lots of pictures.  Yet it's here for me to look back upon in the future when I will have forgotten it all. There's even the tiny chance that anyone else dedicated enough to read all the way through this has seen some point of similarity or felt some camaraderie of shared experience that gives encouragement.  God is faithful and good, and His blessings are abundant even when we are so easily blinded to them.

like little children

This week's sermon used a great quote to expound on the Scripture where Jesus tells his disciples to become more childlike to partake of the Kingdom of God.  This is an excellent example of how walking in God's "mission" for me as a parent has made my overall Christian walk so much richer.  Without being fully immersed in Elias' abounding vitality and fiercely free spirit, I wouldn't be able to grasp Chesterton's point with nearly as much depth:  the difference in "knowing" and "living" something.

...and perhaps now I won't be so easily annoyed at his delight in "do it again, Mommy!"

"Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we."      --G.K. Chesterton  

June rehash

Ack!  Somewhere I seem to have miss-placed June! 

It's been busy at work (even more than usual) and home (as usual, pretty much maxed out).  Elias, my little boy now (can't even fool myself that he's still a "toddler") has been delightful, with many blog-worthy moments when I think I'd better write this down or I'll forget.  Of course, I've forgotten them.  Some people strive to live in the moment; between my very poor memory and general overwhelming daily activities, that's just how I end up.

Ah, but that's where pictures come in!  I'm still loving my DSLR, and of course I'd like to have more opportunities to take and process more.  I finally downloaded a bunch today, which captures some of the things we've been up to.

My parents visited in June, on the 3yr anniversary when they met us coming back from Ethiopia.  I forced them to have professional pictures taken, which no one liked doing, but I'm glad to have the pictures anyway.

We drove around a lot and ended up at Lake Kegonsa one afternoon.  Elias discovered he could make us all laugh by bending down and wetting his face in the lake, then going over and putting it in the sand like a big face stamp.

Another June activity that's becoming an annual outing is the "Breakfast on the Farm."  We got there late (~9am) and the lines were horrendous!  At that point Elias was starving and'd been promised pancakes and sausage, so we were stuck.  We were also underdressed for just standing in the windy drizzle.  I must say, for a kid who struggles to sit quietly for even 30 seconds of "circle time" (ie-lecture) at daycare, Elias' behavior was indeed heroic.  Afterwards he did have a good time, too.

 We hosted a BBQ for our church adoption group.  It's a wonderful and growing community.  It's great to fellowship, pray for one another, and hear all the wonderful stories.  The slip-N-slide was a big hit.

With summer slipping away so quickly, and Elias no longer a baby, I really need to try to take advantage of all the fun opportunities around Madison.  We haven't even made it down to the Square yet for farmers market (although we often go to another one.)  A "little" thing we've been doing is having picnics out in the back yard, which is a great "time out" and way to enjoy our wonderful yard.  We should host more BBQ's, definitely.  The county fair.  Camping.  Fishing, even.  I have to be more intentional in planning these things to indeed experience those great in-the-moment times.

just a nice Sunday

The weather forecasts have been wrong all month...at least, as reported on my iPod.  It has been an exercise in flexibility.  This weekend I'm glad the dire predictions didn't come true.  It was mostly sunny, and dry enough to do some serious outdoor work that's been accumulating.  It's the end of May already and I just today got the opportunity to put the garden in (at least, the important stuff).

Today we slept in, making us late to church again (but not as late as we have been!)  Afterwards we went to Shopko and finally got Elias a couple more pairs of shoes that actually fit.  He's Size 11 already (well, actually his left foot is a 10.5).  He darted away when I was considering shoes and in 2 minutes excitedly brought back a Thomas the Train 24-piece puzzle.  It must be Thomas radar.  Well, he was being very patient and I'm a sucker for random gifts, so I said we could get it, provided he kept being good.  He showed off his prize to several fellow shoppers on the way out.  I bought a lot of plants:  flowers for the front and some "missing" pepper and tomato varieties for the garden.  As a bonus, a woman gave us her 20% off coupon, which ended up saving me >$25!  I passed it off to someone else upon leaving.

We stopped by McDonald's on the way back and had a "picnic" on the front lawn.  Elias declared it naptime and cooperatively went to bed...and then continually got up, read books, kicked, and talked to himself to keep himself awake.  Grrr.  I played hall monitor until most the kitchen was clean, then gave up and went outside to start on the garden.  By 2:45 or so I went in to get him, and discovered he'd been covertly playing in the basement.  Busted!  But he'd had a "quiet time" so I declared naptime over.

Last night I'd gotten my tiny rotortiller running and started in on breaking ground, and today I finished off the parts I needed.  It was a lot of work.  Elias cried most the time I was tilling, being overtired and scared of the loud noise, and I think because I said it was "very dangerous" and had him watch from the deck.  He watches out for me!  The soil is nice this year, with a lot of grass and chicken litter compost I added months back, and it was a pleasure to work in it without gloves.  This year I planted the sandy end of the garden with potatoes for the first time:  something Elias has been begging to do since around January.  Not sure where he came up with the idea, but it's a good one.  I also put in my standard zucchini, pole beans, 6 kinds of tomatoes (lots of canning this year!), 4 kinds of peppers, and carrots.  The basil and eggplant didn't quite get in today, and there's still the possibility of another kind of squash and something else that piques my interest.  It feels so good to get that done.

I couldn't get Elias to participate beyond the potatoes.  He played most of the time with his newly-favorite toy, a firetruck my folks got him a long time ago.  He's been taking it everywhere with him,  declaring that he's going to be either a fireman or (more often) a firetruck when he grows up.  His play mostly consists of what a friend generously calls "gravity verification experiments":  driving it off the edge of anything he can find.  Yes, it's destroying the truck, but he certainly gets a lot of joy from it.  Such a boy!  He'd mix it up a little with little excursions to climb anything he can find, explore the dense trees along the back, and chase the chickens.

After at least an hour of crashing his truck around different backyard features he convinced me to play frisbee with him.  I grabbed my camera and we did that, and catch, and just some plain old frolicking until I was totally worn out.  I was rescued by a few raindrops and dinnertime.  He's now at such a fun age.

I also had great fun taking LOTS of pictures, then reviewing them tonight to admire some and toss out most of them.  I used my 85mm most of the time and just continued to get used to my camera.  I'd share more it they didn't take so long to upload!

Some creative efforts:

Some playtime pictures.  He picked up frisbee throwing in just a few tries and is really good at it.

...and here's some of just plain cuteness!

(he can make) the best of times, the worst of times

My birthday did not start off well.  I stayed up far too late, giving myself a birthday present by indulging in Netflix episodes of Dr. Who in bed.  A mere 2 hours after turning in, Elias crawled into bed with me.  Normally I'd just roll over and return to sleep, but, no, he was wet through his nighttime pull-ups, so I had to get up and force him to go potty and change his clothes before stumbling back into bed.  But Elias wouldn't just go back to sleep; he was all squirmy and wanted to chat.  Forbidding movement and sound lasted about a second, then Elias'd say "NO squirming, NO talking when Mommy is trying to sleep!" recited dutifully and with feeling, with no hint of irony.  Ughh.   Then he got up, went to his room, and returned to my bed with books which he proceeded to "read" to me, begining or ending most sentences with "mommy":  MOMMY!  Pooh had too many honeypots, Mommy, so he decided to give some old honeypots away, Mommy, to make room for the new ones--right, Mommy?" One can not sleep through that.  Then I said if he wanted to read he'd have to do it in his bed.  So, whining and unwilling but obedient he took his books and climbed into his bed, where he proceded to set up shop and start the Pooh book all over again, this time shouting the narrative to be sure I could hear it.  I tried really hard to ignore it, but although I couldn't quite awake to functional consciousness, neither could I truely fall asleep.  Every 10 minutes or so he'd try to come back in "for just a little snuggles" but couldn't restrain himself so was soon kicked out again.  A couple times he was banned from my room altogether, resulting in loud, disolant crying, which I also, unsuccessfully, tried to sleep though.  I tried bribing him with my iPod (AKA "the game") but for maybe the first time ever he was uninterested.  After a couple hours of this, continuous, PBSkids came on TV so I tried that.  This decreased the periodicity and amplitude of the interuptions yet stayed above my sleep threshhold.  The broadcast kept freezing, which would drive Elias back to my bed to plead that I fix it.  By the time I got him to daycare I was absolutely beat.  Then I got to go to work, where I discovered I'd left his naptime gear in the car.  When I opened my email I found a message from a recruiter who reported she heard through the grapevine that my position would be opening and wanted me to view a candidate's CV--which was very good, to boot.  I did not pass it on.  A coworker confirmed the CEO is constantly singing my praises so I chalked it up to a mistake, but it still rattled me.  People at work did treat me to a very nice lunch...but it ended up making me feel very sick until late evening.

Yet, the day ended well.  I found a birthday gift from my parents on the front porch.  Elias and I watched The Polar Express, curled up together on the couch while he let me type on the computer with only a few lobbying attempts for sesamestreet.org.  He didn't put up much of a fuss for bedtime.  I read some books to him, he reciting many of the passages, and even reading a word from the background illustrations.  He arranged stuffed Pooh and "Puppy" beside him so they could read the books along with him.  He talked about his many friends at school (something I can rarely coax him to do).  Finally, after the alloted 3 books were done he requested a song, "Amazing Grace" and we sang it together.  He's fond of that as a bedtime song mostly because it's long, I think, but it still warms my heart to hear him sing hymns!  What could be more endearing?

I'll have to keep that memory alive, come 4:30am tomorrow morning.

Kite day

I'd never had much success flying kites, but the conditions yesterday were just about perfect:  a cool but sunny and dry weekend day, a strong, fairly constant wind, and a flat, open ~25 acre field next door that'd not yet been planted.  I dug out the kite I'd bought for Elias last summer but put away because I thought he was a bit too young then, and we headed out to the field. 

Happily, the kite practically flew itself!  Handing it off to Elias, he immediately got tangled up in the string.

...but soon we were off and flying agian.  Elias hung on tight..

 ...and was delighted to see his little kite take off into the sky.  But then he let go altogether.  We both ran after the string holder at full speed, as the kite dragged it bouncing along the ground.  I caught up to it in time to increase the tension to save it from the big maple tree in our front yard...

but not soon enough to escape the telephone lines.

 
 
 
After a maybe 5 minutes of kite-flying glory, we were done.  I had to cut the line and let it fly up there all by itself.

Aliens

It occured to me that aliens may be residing in my son.  If there were one or maybe dozens of little critters in there it might explain how he could possibly eat so much food.  It defies conventional understanding.  Maybe I'm just watching too much Dr. Who lately.

When he first came home he would eat and eat and eat until I finally just had to take the food away before his cute little belly popped.  He looked like he was pregnant.  Apparently many if not most Ethiopian adoptees do this when they first come home.  For Elias, it was probably because of the short timeframe in which food was available at the orphanage, rather than any overall lack.  Like the others, and like his pediatrician said, that gorging behavior eventually faded away and he now stops on his own when he's full.

We eventually worked our way down from 5 full (huge) meals a day to 3 large meals and 2-3 snacks.  I've never known a pre-teen to eat so much, or such varied food, which is great.  Spicy, exotic, mushy, green, hard:  nearly everything's welcome.  Often he tells me, "Mom, this is deeeLICious!"  Two exceptions are hot-temperature food, and most bread products.  Favorites are broccoli, corn, chocolate, green beans, cookies, and anything potato (he eats the skin off baked potatoes first).  I try to keep it varied and minimally processed, although I notably give in with frequent mac-and-cheese (with peas and hot dog add-ins).

But back to the alien hypothesis.  He eats a lot, but usually within the realm of reason.  Once in a while he'll have a few days were he won't hardly touch dinner (like most little kids I've known), and about as frequently he'll go to the other extreme.  Tuesday I had a weird craving for Italian, so after his afternoon audiology appointment (at which he did very well and was all-around adorable) we went out to Olive Garden.  He had a children's dinner which was broccoli, spaghetti, and grilled chicken breast.  They didn't substitute whole wheat linguini as requested, so brought an additional plate of that, too.  Elias set to work.  He steadily and rapidly forked in bite after huge bite until the broccoli, then the 1st spaghetti, then 2nd spaghetti were completely gone, deeply impressing our waiter and even surprising me.  I took 1/2 of mine home, so next time maybe I'll have the child's meal!  When we got home he found, asked for and then got some Easter chocolate and a whole baked yam, then a little later insisted I make him a peanut butter & jelly sandwich (I made it a 1/2 sandwich).  Goodness!  He only stopped when I put him to bed (with his usual nighttime milk).  He acted like it was all perfectly normal.  I, on the otherhand, after my rich, 1/2 dinner spent several hours that night with a severe stomach ache.  I probably even gained weight from eating out.

It's scary contemplating Elias as a teen-ager.  I may have to get a second job!

He did grow about an inch over the last month, but is actually looking skinnier.  I suppose all that food is mostly fueling his hyperactivity...and maybe sustaining a few aliens.

Easter

Happy Resurrection Day!

Easter seemed a lot more like "Easter" this year for me.  Since Sunday school last week Elias has sporadically yelled out "Jesus is Alive!" which was a joyous reminder of what we celebrate.  I fasted Good Friday and had the day off work.  On Friday I made it a point of reading the Easter stories in his Bible to Elias, which he normally neglects in favor of stories from the Old Testament.  It certainly caught his attention this time around, though, and since then he's been asking that I read the "Jesus ouch" story again and again (which I make sure to follow with the "Jesus rose from the dead" story.)  It's a hard thing to present to a 3 year old--heck, it's hard to grasp for anyone!  Yet so awesomely true.  Makes all the difference in the world.  So I guess it's just the power and love and importance of it that I want to convey.

In contrast to last year, Elias had fun dying eggs and going on egg hunts.  I made a nice Easter basket for him earlier in the week and hid it up high in a bag in the basement, but despite my efforts he found it and presented it to me early Saturday morning with much excitment ("I found a basket of treats, Mommy!")--although he didn't partake, awaiting my permission, so it survived until today.  This morning he actually slept in, allowing me to hide the dyed, hard-boiled eggs we'd made in the living room just in time.  The first one he found he promptly set out to peel off the shell, but the rest survived and were all accounted for. 

We had a big breakfast and made it to church early(!), dressed in our best.  I tried to take a picture of us using the camera timer, which worked OK, although Elias tended to run towards it, excited by the beeps and flashing lights.  At church several people commented on his clothes or how nice he looked, to which he always replied "yes."

After church we came home.  He didn't want to change out of his nice clothes, so we played outside a bit all dressed up.  We had another Easter egg hunt (this time with plastic eggs filled with candy and the basket treats) and played with the chickens, while I set out to get more picures.

OK, here he is definitely fed up with the picture-taking!  (His cheeks are all big because his mouth is full of the peanut M&Ms I ended up bribing him with to get him to sit by the daffodils!)