O, those boundaries

Today I got another one of those notes from daycare, that Elias "had a hard time listening today." This time he refused to clean up a toy to the extent that he didn't get to make cookies with the rest of his class--harsh!...but I'm glad they stick to their guns. He's got to learn that he doesn't dictate the rules, and there are consequences to his choices. We encountered a similar situation when we got home. He asked for his Thomas video ("choo-choo train?"), and I said if we clean up the living room then we can watch Thomas the train. He worked through around 1/3 of the books while I tackled the blocks, but then he lost interest and decided to climb on Mommy and the couch instead. He adamantly refused to pick up his books...so I picked them up myself but put them on the mantle when he can't get them. Last time that worked really well. This time he didn't seem to care as much, but still ended up running crying down the hall rather than clean up. I counted that as a marginal victory. Then when making dinner he brought me the phone wanting me to pretend to talk in it, but when I didn't he dropped it on the floor. I asked him to pick it up and he ignored me. I asked again (I'm not supposed to do that), and he said no. So--off to his room! He cried; I went back to making dinner. Soon he finished crying and came out, running to me, smiling, and we hugged. I asked if he was going to put the phone back and he ran right over and did it, eagerly even. Yea! This stuff is hard for both of us at the time, but wow, it seems we both know it's the best thing. I think he does feel more secure and in control when he figures out the rules. Actually, I'd be worried if he didn't test boundaries. I know I'm not as strict or consistent as I should be, but I'm working on it--and Elias is providing more and more opportunities for practice.