Yesterday was a trialing day, but in unusual ways. Also, it was somehow surprisingly non-stressful. God gives strength for what needs to be done. Too, it was just so nice to be back with Elias after a day away on a business trip to Indianapolis.
The day started early, around 12:30 am when I finally returned from our marathon trip (12 hours crammed in a van with 5 men, for a 6-hour meeting with the big guns at a big company). I didn't wake him up when I got in, but did stroke him a little, and was glad to hear his wheezing seemed a little better. Elias was so glad to see me when he did wake a mere 5 hrs later, which was heartwarming. I must've looked really bad, for Elias even paused in the midst of his normal dash towards the TV for his morning video, to turn, point at me and say "Mommy tired!" Yes, indeed. Work was long & hectic, again, and I was really hungry & tired afterwards. I opted for spaghetti with (dare I say?) canned sauce for dinner. Well, I added hamburger and fresh tomatoes, but still I felt uneasy, if not quite guilty, for not making "real" sauce. But then, it was really good! We both ate lots. But then poor Elias threw up! Well, I'd planned a bath for him anyway, so it was straight off to the tub. It was there I discovered that the house didn't have water. There was enough to finish the bath, but just barely. (Elias spent most of it laying down to get maximal water coverage!) When going to bed he liked saying "God keeps us safe!" with me--his Sunday school message this month. Then it was house stuff again. I'd never before considered the difficulties of cleaning up vomit without any water. Despite some father-led troubleshooting I couldn't find the problem, and it was far too late for a service call. With Elias asleep I went out into the windy, rainy night trying to catch enough water out of my too-low, plant-covered rain spouts for some minimal personal hygiene and be able to flush toilets, until I didn't CARE if I had water anymore, and went to bed. It was nice to have Elias soundly sleeping in the next room (hardly wheezing at all), while I read some Scripture and snuggled down in my warm flannel sheets. It's nice to sleep when it's stormy out.
P.S.-- Elias' repiratory problems are mostly over today, I'm starting to catch up a bit on sleep, and someone came out to replace a bunch of electrical stuff for my well this morning, so we've got water inside the house now too.
Friday, October 23, 2009
O, those boundaries
Today I got another one of those notes from daycare, that Elias "had a hard time listening today." This time he refused to clean up a toy to the extent that he didn't get to make cookies with the rest of his class--harsh!...but I'm glad they stick to their guns. He's got to learn that he doesn't dictate the rules, and there are consequences to his choices. We encountered a similar situation when we got home. He asked for his Thomas video ("choo-choo train?"), and I said if we clean up the living room then we can watch Thomas the train. He worked through around 1/3 of the books while I tackled the blocks, but then he lost interest and decided to climb on Mommy and the couch instead. He adamantly refused to pick up his books...so I picked them up myself but put them on the mantle when he can't get them. Last time that worked really well. This time he didn't seem to care as much, but still ended up running crying down the hall rather than clean up. I counted that as a marginal victory. Then when making dinner he brought me the phone wanting me to pretend to talk in it, but when I didn't he dropped it on the floor. I asked him to pick it up and he ignored me. I asked again (I'm not supposed to do that), and he said no. So--off to his room! He cried; I went back to making dinner. Soon he finished crying and came out, running to me, smiling, and we hugged. I asked if he was going to put the phone back and he ran right over and did it, eagerly even. Yea! This stuff is hard for both of us at the time, but wow, it seems we both know it's the best thing. I think he does feel more secure and in control when he figures out the rules. Actually, I'd be worried if he didn't test boundaries. I know I'm not as strict or consistent as I should be, but I'm working on it--and Elias is providing more and more opportunities for practice.
Monday, October 12, 2009
catch up
Blog entries are the offspring of inspiration and opportunity, which for me have not been coinciding. It's been a month now. Elias has done so many blogable feats, but of course now I'm having trouble recalling them. Alas, that's a prime reason I do this: to try to capture in some shadowy way those magical moments that would otherwise slip through my poor memory. Here's a few snipets I recall.
A couple wees ago he was counting like he often does, methodically pointing at objects and saying "one..twwoo...three..." when he shocked me by switching to Spanish! In the same measured way he counted all the way to 10 in Spanish, with darned good pronounciation, too. I guess he IS learning something at those Spanish lessons in daycare. Today I heard him count to 17 (he kept pointing to reach 20, but the pronounciation pretty much deteriorated to be unrecognizable.)
The floor in Elias' room is covered with those foam puzzle pieces with letters, numbers and shapes. I love it when he takes out a letter, holds it up and says "uh-oh, S!" or "Uh-oh, I!" Then inevitably he asks for help putting it back, then I say "no, you can do that yourself," then after some fiddling he does, and proudly proclaims "I did that!"
He asks for most book by either title or the opening few key words. For some of them he enjoys reading key phrases along with me. He often comments on the story or pictures.
It's been really hard to take pictures of Elias because he always rushes over to me, either for myself or (more often) to look at himself on the preview screen on the camera. Lately though he's been cutting me some slack. When he sees the camera now he yells "smile!" and stands in front for about 5 seconds...then runs around to look at the results on the back of the camera. I took a couple pictures of him by our pumpkin, so last time when the camera came out to capture his dragon Halloween costume he rushed over to it "Elias--pumpkin sit?"
Over the last month or so for the first time Elias' daily notes from daycare don't always read glowingly "I had a good day today," but sometimes say things like "I had a hard time listening today." Hm. Yea. Well, yes, he's 2. Really, though he's still pretty amazingly "good." His trials nowadays seem mostly to be frustration at not being able to do what he wants and/or be able to verbalize it. For example, tonight he was hungry and mad that I was making dinner rather than reading him a book, and stood in the kitchen, screaming. I told him Mommy was making dinner, and he could go cry in his room if he wanted. After pausing a moment to take that in and catch his breath, he did a crisp military turn and went to his room, where he continued wailing. A little while later he wandered back in, all tear-streaked but calm. I gave him a hug and he said "All done crying now Mommy." Awww! And by then dinner was ready so everyone was happy.
A couple wees ago he was counting like he often does, methodically pointing at objects and saying "one..twwoo...three..." when he shocked me by switching to Spanish! In the same measured way he counted all the way to 10 in Spanish, with darned good pronounciation, too. I guess he IS learning something at those Spanish lessons in daycare. Today I heard him count to 17 (he kept pointing to reach 20, but the pronounciation pretty much deteriorated to be unrecognizable.)
The floor in Elias' room is covered with those foam puzzle pieces with letters, numbers and shapes. I love it when he takes out a letter, holds it up and says "uh-oh, S!" or "Uh-oh, I!" Then inevitably he asks for help putting it back, then I say "no, you can do that yourself," then after some fiddling he does, and proudly proclaims "I did that!"
He asks for most book by either title or the opening few key words. For some of them he enjoys reading key phrases along with me. He often comments on the story or pictures.
It's been really hard to take pictures of Elias because he always rushes over to me, either for myself or (more often) to look at himself on the preview screen on the camera. Lately though he's been cutting me some slack. When he sees the camera now he yells "smile!" and stands in front for about 5 seconds...then runs around to look at the results on the back of the camera. I took a couple pictures of him by our pumpkin, so last time when the camera came out to capture his dragon Halloween costume he rushed over to it "Elias--pumpkin sit?"
Over the last month or so for the first time Elias' daily notes from daycare don't always read glowingly "I had a good day today," but sometimes say things like "I had a hard time listening today." Hm. Yea. Well, yes, he's 2. Really, though he's still pretty amazingly "good." His trials nowadays seem mostly to be frustration at not being able to do what he wants and/or be able to verbalize it. For example, tonight he was hungry and mad that I was making dinner rather than reading him a book, and stood in the kitchen, screaming. I told him Mommy was making dinner, and he could go cry in his room if he wanted. After pausing a moment to take that in and catch his breath, he did a crisp military turn and went to his room, where he continued wailing. A little while later he wandered back in, all tear-streaked but calm. I gave him a hug and he said "All done crying now Mommy." Awww! And by then dinner was ready so everyone was happy.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Jokes and Serious Fun
Elias has started telling jokes. They're very much insider jokes, consisting of a question then affirmation of something blatantly untrue. Now that I think of it, that's very much akin to some of my jokes ("How much was the offer? But Aova is worth a kaJILLion dollars!") His first was:
- Elias: "I go outside?" while one of us was still in PJ's--obviously NOT going to happen.
- Me: "Nooo, you're not going outside now." Smiling, but with you-should-know-better tone.
- Elias: "I go outside!" followed by lots of laughter.
He still uses that one to good effect. Sometimes the initial question is serious, and sometimes it's just a lead-in to his punchline. Last week he came up with another when he was eating an apple at Ski Hi orchard with Nanna and I:
- Elias, holding up his apple: "Applesauce?"
- Me: "Nooo, that's not applesauce; it's an apple!" (He knows very well the difference.)
- Elias: "Applesauce!" HaHaHaaHaHaaHa!
Now he'll just come up to you randomly with that spark in his eye and either ask or yell "applesauce" and crack up laughing. I used this to good effect at the photographers' last week, when I just said "applesauce!" whenever I wanted him to laugh. Here's one of the resulting photos.
Although now he is quite expressive and even giggly, Elias seemed rather stoic until he was about a year and a half old. Especially as an infant, he was very reserved, giving the impression that he was just observing everything, to be thoroughly processed and mulled over, and brought to bear at some appropriate time in the future. This came through again last week at the zoo, when for the first time we rode the train. He loves trains, and was so excited, the waiting made worse by the fact that we didn't quite make it on the first train ride, so had to wait the entire cycle first in line for the next round. He fluctuated between eager pointing and frustrated whining. However, once we got on it his face went blank, eyes wide and mouth drooped open, despite any encouragement from the conductor or us. It was like he was so intent on taking it all in, there was no energy to reflect back out--a little black hole of experiential pleasure. Someone else would probably misjudge that he was bored or clueless, but I knew it was just the opposite--Oh, how he loved that train. Right after that he rode the carousel, and had some of that look too, but not like the train. I'll have to make it a point of riding that each time we get the chance.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Happy New Year
Happy Ethiopian New Year!
11Sep2009 over here is actually 01Meskerem2002 in Ethiopia. It sorta "sneaked" up on me but I did make some doro wat (chicken stew) and lentils last night using some of the spice I brought back from Ethiopia. I did not try serving it with the (northern) staple of injera (pancakes)--having learned from my past failures--but rotini noodles stood in just fine. Elias thought it OK, but much prefers black olives and green beans.
Tonight we had the pleasure of attending the Madison Ethiopian community's celebration. True to form, it featured lots and lots of very tasty, very traditional ET food (along with American additions like spaghetti, popsicles, and cake) and music. Many people wore traditional dress. Like always, I was struck by their hospitality and love of children. I met several new people in the process of adopting. We danced at the end. I even love how they dance: Not terribly active overall but with a lot of shoulder work. Elias not only did his traditional ET dancing, but, encouraged by some new friends, added a lot of arm waving and stretches of the "hokey-pokey."
Here's a picture early on, of Elias absconding with someone's stroller, about to run into Almaz, a wonderful, grandmotherly Ethiopian whom we see at each event. Here's also a link to a slideshow someone posted of the event: http://bluenileimages.com/images/eslide/index.html
It was at a beautiful park I hadn't been to before, right on the lake. It's right across the street from the big Middleton park we normally go to, so I assumed it was that one. After finding a place to park and trekking over to the shelter, already 1/2 hr late, I found it was reserved for a Pagan festival. Urgh: crowds of tattooed, unkempt, unfriendly, scary-looking people sitting cross-legged in weird T-shirts, hawking incense and chanting "balance to you!" I asked a very large bearded man with a "STAFF" shirt and a gadget belt like Batman if he knew anything about an Ethiopian New Years party and he begrudgedly told me only that they had the place til 10pm. Then finally I spotted two Ethiopian women and a girl arrive who looked just as confused as I, so we stuck together. One of them had a cell phone and called around, speaking in Amharic, until finding someone who knew where it really was. We went back to our cars, and I followed them to the right celebration. What a contrast. The pagan "celebrants" just seemed lost, insecure and lonely; the Ethiopian celebration across the street was joyous, welcoming, natural, unified, confident, safe, and fun.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Ahead of me again
How wonderful to be continually, delightfully surprised by my son's personality and development. Two years old is really the best age yet!
Today was a day of readjustment after Grandma's visit. He seems to have bounced back to an even more exuberant version of his "normal" self. His whole body just lit up when I picked him up from daycare. Immediately upon coming home he asked for chalk--orange chalk--and ran to where his name was written on the driveway, and cried "E!" and tried to trace over it, then "S!" and tried to trace that! His literary achievements are being hampered by still-developing motor skills. Today's daycare sheet said "I had a very good first day back! I surprised my teachers by pulling down my pants and sitting on the potty!" Wow--and surprised Mommy too! Since he's been telling me when he "has poop" for a week now, I have started looking into buying a potty and getting a potty training book, but haven't done it yet. This is just like Elias: always just a couple weeks ahead of me. This happened with the alphabet, and counting, and now potty training and I might even say writing. Genius!
It was wonderful having my mom come visit for a week, but Elias was challenging at times. We were both sick, me with that cough and Elias with an icky, runny ear infection (which, in a reversal of the normal order, I gave to him.) Elias was additionally discombobulated by the increased flexibility of our vacation schedule. His sleeping schedule was all messed up and he didn't eat as much as usual. He clung to the familiarity of his library, insisting either Mom or me read to him ALL the time. He also had a quasi-meltdown in a fabric store. Still, with the 3 of us, we did so much more than we had before, in terms of going out to eat, out to other places, and riding a long time in the car. He especially liked riding on the train at the zoo.
Today was a day of readjustment after Grandma's visit. He seems to have bounced back to an even more exuberant version of his "normal" self. His whole body just lit up when I picked him up from daycare. Immediately upon coming home he asked for chalk--orange chalk--and ran to where his name was written on the driveway, and cried "E!" and tried to trace over it, then "S!" and tried to trace that! His literary achievements are being hampered by still-developing motor skills. Today's daycare sheet said "I had a very good first day back! I surprised my teachers by pulling down my pants and sitting on the potty!" Wow--and surprised Mommy too! Since he's been telling me when he "has poop" for a week now, I have started looking into buying a potty and getting a potty training book, but haven't done it yet. This is just like Elias: always just a couple weeks ahead of me. This happened with the alphabet, and counting, and now potty training and I might even say writing. Genius!
It was wonderful having my mom come visit for a week, but Elias was challenging at times. We were both sick, me with that cough and Elias with an icky, runny ear infection (which, in a reversal of the normal order, I gave to him.) Elias was additionally discombobulated by the increased flexibility of our vacation schedule. His sleeping schedule was all messed up and he didn't eat as much as usual. He clung to the familiarity of his library, insisting either Mom or me read to him ALL the time. He also had a quasi-meltdown in a fabric store. Still, with the 3 of us, we did so much more than we had before, in terms of going out to eat, out to other places, and riding a long time in the car. He especially liked riding on the train at the zoo.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Horrible & Spectacular
As motherhood goes, yesterday was simply horrible and today was spectacular. Friday night and until about 3:30am I spent vomiting, apparently with a bad case of food poisoning, along with chills and muscle aches. The only other time I was so sick was a similar episode my very first night with Elias, in Ethiopia. Like then, my physical misery was compounded by the emotional anguish of worrying that I was utterly incapable of caring for my baby. I felt very alone and helpless. (Amazingly, both times Elias slept soundly through the whole ordeal. How anyone could sleep through that happening just a few feet away is completely beyond me--perhaps God put him into that same deep sleep that got Adam through ribcage surgery.) Come morning, with my GI tract completely cleared out, I no longer felt poisoned, but was very weak and trembly. I was disappointed I had to cancel grand plans to go to the Sun Prairie Corn Festival and maybe Farmers' Market. Elias was his normal, healthy, happy, active self. I was able to spend a good hunk of the morning in bed, between diaper changes, getting him food, and restarting his blessed Elmo video. Still, he was constantly checking in/jumping on me. When I drug myself to the couch for some "quiet" reading time he was just a sqirmy hyper whirlwind climbing all over me, which was oh-so-painful. It was like he had a pathological drive to jam his toes and knees into my legs, backed by his full 30lbs. I tried to fend him off, but he had the advantage of boundless energy and pure motives, for really he was just happy & excited to be with me, such as I was. How could I scold him for that? Once again, I wouldn't've been able to cope with a less perfect child, for I'm not sure how I could've handled bad behavior, whining or crying. After a long-but-not-long-enough nap, a friend from IL came to visit, which got me through the rest of the day. I and the house were a mess, but I was too thankful for the company and help with Elias to be too embarrassed. We even went to Hubbard Street Diner for dinner where I was finally able to eat something.
What a difference a new day and 10 hours of sleep can make! I woke up much stronger today, although still queasy around food. We made it to church, then spent an hour at a park. He has largely abandoned the "2 to 5 year old" playground equipment in favor of the "big kid" structure. It makes me a little nervous because he climbs up far beyond my reach, but he really likes the challenge and the faster slides. He took a nap just long enough for me to mow the lawn; when I came back inside he was clapping for me. We wrestled a little, cleaned up a little, and talked a lot. He's still outpacing me in adding new words and partial sentences while I'm trying to understand them. Then I decided that I was up for our first trip to the pool. I logged on to my laptop to look up info on it, and Elias was immediately there, asking to see pictures of himself. So we viewed pictures from June and July, which he loved, pointing out people he knows. Then it was snacktime and off to our first pool experience. We encountered some friends there, who helped us learn the ropes. Elias was very reluctant at first. I had finally cajoled/pushed him to wade a little in the "zero-depth" pool when they called a 10 minute "safety break," when all the kids have to leave the pool. Of course, then he wanted to go in, and it was all I could do to keep him on dry land. I told him we had to wait until the other kids went back in, and when he saw them go in, he immediately started off as well. We waded out until the water was up to his chest. Then he started kicking off and bending at the waist so he was underwater with his butt up, then bobbing back up to take a breath, all giggly! Twice I put him up on my shoulders and he "jumped" off into (and under) the water. He went underwater intentionally many, many times but never sputtered like he'd inhaled any, and always came up laughing. He had a blast, and it was a joy to be with him. After just a little while, though, he started to get really cold and said "all done," so we came out. He was really cold, even though I was OK. I wrapped him in a towel and just held him close for a long time while his shivering died down, at which point he declared "home," and we left. We made detours, though, to those same friends' house to get lots of fresh corn (they had gone to the corn festival), and the grocery store mainly to get bedtime milk (where he was exceptionally good, even though still wet and around dinnertime). After dinner, we read books for nearly an hour straight. He still carefully selects each one, but now often "reads" key phrases to me, having memorized them all. What is that myth about toddlers' attention span? Tonight, like virtually always, it is me, not him, who insists on stopping reading. I was yawning and Elias declared me "tired." Yes, indeed. He had his milk, I sang a couple songs, and he went to sleep without a whimper. Then I got to clean the kitchen (sooo much better now), do 2 loads of laundry, and make a taco salad for tomorrow. Ah, life restored.
What a difference a new day and 10 hours of sleep can make! I woke up much stronger today, although still queasy around food. We made it to church, then spent an hour at a park. He has largely abandoned the "2 to 5 year old" playground equipment in favor of the "big kid" structure. It makes me a little nervous because he climbs up far beyond my reach, but he really likes the challenge and the faster slides. He took a nap just long enough for me to mow the lawn; when I came back inside he was clapping for me. We wrestled a little, cleaned up a little, and talked a lot. He's still outpacing me in adding new words and partial sentences while I'm trying to understand them. Then I decided that I was up for our first trip to the pool. I logged on to my laptop to look up info on it, and Elias was immediately there, asking to see pictures of himself. So we viewed pictures from June and July, which he loved, pointing out people he knows. Then it was snacktime and off to our first pool experience. We encountered some friends there, who helped us learn the ropes. Elias was very reluctant at first. I had finally cajoled/pushed him to wade a little in the "zero-depth" pool when they called a 10 minute "safety break," when all the kids have to leave the pool. Of course, then he wanted to go in, and it was all I could do to keep him on dry land. I told him we had to wait until the other kids went back in, and when he saw them go in, he immediately started off as well. We waded out until the water was up to his chest. Then he started kicking off and bending at the waist so he was underwater with his butt up, then bobbing back up to take a breath, all giggly! Twice I put him up on my shoulders and he "jumped" off into (and under) the water. He went underwater intentionally many, many times but never sputtered like he'd inhaled any, and always came up laughing. He had a blast, and it was a joy to be with him. After just a little while, though, he started to get really cold and said "all done," so we came out. He was really cold, even though I was OK. I wrapped him in a towel and just held him close for a long time while his shivering died down, at which point he declared "home," and we left. We made detours, though, to those same friends' house to get lots of fresh corn (they had gone to the corn festival), and the grocery store mainly to get bedtime milk (where he was exceptionally good, even though still wet and around dinnertime). After dinner, we read books for nearly an hour straight. He still carefully selects each one, but now often "reads" key phrases to me, having memorized them all. What is that myth about toddlers' attention span? Tonight, like virtually always, it is me, not him, who insists on stopping reading. I was yawning and Elias declared me "tired." Yes, indeed. He had his milk, I sang a couple songs, and he went to sleep without a whimper. Then I got to clean the kitchen (sooo much better now), do 2 loads of laundry, and make a taco salad for tomorrow. Ah, life restored.
A few other tidbits:
- Elias has discovered pockets. Today I felt something hard in his jeans and pulled out a bunch of crayons, which apparently he'd swiped from daycare. I let him put them back in there to hide.
- In a related story, only about 1/2 hour later I discovered him happily and exuberantly drawing large circles in brown crayon on the dining room walls. I said "No drawing on walls!" and he broke into tears. He didn't get that crayon back. I'd wondered when my first drawing-on-the-walls episode would happen. Apparently, though, it happened 2 or 3 days ago, as I just discovered another area of green marker on the living room wall (and had noticed guilty green hands and a missing marker 2 or 3 days ago).
- I think his favorite number is 2. He likes grabbing pairs of things and declaring "Twwwo!" He counts to 10...well, without using 7. Well, who needs 7, anyway?
- He kept yelling "you! you!" at mealtime one day, holding up a slice of hotdog. Then I saw that he had eaten out the center, so indeed it was shaped just like a U. I turned it on its side, and then we celebrated the new-found "C."
- He has now turned his attention to learning "little" (lower-case) letters. He renewed his interest in his Seuss ABC book but now carefully points out and identifies the little letters in particular. Again, this is entirely self-driven; I just do capitals. I have mentioned he's a genius, right?
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